3 Life-Changing Benefits to Being Single
Tarah Avery
Do you ever long for the day when you’ll find yourself no longer single? Or do you ever feel like you just don’t know how to be single?
Have you been wondering how long it will take before the man or woman of your dreams comes galloping in on a white horse, walk through the doorway, or lock eyes with you from across the room?
I know I’ve been there.
I want to encourage those of you who find yourself single, to know that it’s OK. It doesn’t mean you are less important, less attractive, less able, or not enough.
Look at it this way: maybe you are in a season where God wants to shape and mold you into His best.
He sees you perfectly when all you can see are your imperfections. He sees you’re achievements and encourages you towards hard things when all you can see are your failures.
There is great beauty in embracing this season of your life. It’s a season that hopefully, you will never have to experience again once you’re married. You won’t get it back. Live it up while you’re in it.
Let me show you a glimpse of my story:
I never had many boyfriends before Gordon. Truth is, I had a lot of hurts, wounds, and insecurities that were rooted so deep that I couldn’t let any man in.
That fear prevented me from getting too close to men (Thankfully, it also prevented a lot of heartache that could have been).
So I spent most of my years single, watching eagerly as my friends dated, wondering when someone would come along for me.
As the years passed I slowly learned to become more confident in my singleness. I decided that when the time came (if ever), it would come, but I wasn’t going to pursue it.
It was during those years of singleness that I began to truly see myself the way God does. I consider my years of singleness as the primer into a full and enriching life that eventually led to marriage. Those years became one of the most beneficial and fun seasons of my life.
In this season, I discovered 3 life-changing principles. You can do this when married or in a relationship, but when you’re single you can devote more time into these things:
- Discover your identity through the right lens.
- Invest in and nurture deep friendships.
- Embrace adventures and say “yes!” to opportunities that you may have rejected if otherwise attached.
Let’s dig a little deeper.
1. Discover your identity as a man or woman of God.
As children, our identity is shaped by our relationship with our fathers.
We believe that is why God comes to us as our Father.
Your dad determines your biological identity, but it is your Father who determines your identity as men and women.
Use this time of singleness to truly discover everything that your Father says about you. Let him heal the deeper hurts inside of you that you may not see, he knows what they are.
Let him erase the falsehoods that others have spoken over you. He desires so much beauty for your life. He created you with so much potential and purpose.
What better time to become who you truly desire to be?
Take Action: Ladies check out the book “Captivating;” Fellas check out the book “Wild at Heart,” both co-authored by John & Stasi Eldredge. Both books speak about our identity, deepest questions/longings as men and women, which only God can fill.
2. Invest in and nurture deep friendships.
Maybe you already have deep friendships. That is a rare and valuable gift. Some of my closest friendships were born during my single years! If you do not, this is for you.
Our idea of great friendships these days can be more defined by words than actions. Our best friend one week is our enemy the next. Loyalty and vulnerability in friendship seem to be lost which means most of our relationships can be shallow and wishy-washy.
The great news is we can learn how to become a great friend and surround ourselves with great friends.
During this season of singleness, seek out people who are interested in the same things you are, and grow in that affinity.
Take Action: Join a tribe or small group at your church. If you don’t have a church, invest in a group on Meetup.com. The goal is to meet new people. And don’t forget to ask God to bring people into your life who could become friends. They’re out there! Take the first step-get involved somewhere that interests you.
3. Embrace adventures and say “yes!” to opportunities that you may have rejected if otherwise attached.
This one is super fun! Say yes more often. Take the time to travel, go to school, discover a new passion or talent.
One of the adventures I had led me to Australia and Bangladesh with a mission organization called Youth with A Mission (YWAM). Check them out if you’re interested in traveling missions.
Whatever the adventure is, there will be no better time than when you can devote your whole self to it.
Take Action: Choose something you’ve always wanted to do and then decide to do it. God will provide.
And those are only 3 benefits of singleness. There are many more!
Remember, this is the season of your life where you will have the fewest distractions and responsibilities. God has amazing adventures planned for you as a singles! He desires you right here, right now.
What kind of adventure do you see God taking you on?
Your Friend,
