How Eve’s Curse Affects the Modern Woman
Tarah Avery
Have you ever wondered why you have a deep longing for relationships in your life – good, healthy, right relationships?
There is a reason for that.
I grew up in a great, loving home. We had everything. We had the swimming pools, the hot tubs, four-wheelers, and vacations. And I am truly grateful for the things that allowed us to have some great memories.
But what we lacked in my home was emotional vulnerability. Emotional matters were just too much. They were often brushed under the rug and ignored. I never got the “sex” talk (too awkward, I guess) so I learned from what my friends’ parents told them.
The message I learned from my family was that it is not safe to be vulnerable. So I learned how to be independent and take care of myself when it came to matters of the heart.
Why share this you ask? Well because it has to do with Eve’s curse, with our curse as women.
When sin came into this world via Adam & Eve (the first humans on earth in the history of creation), each is cursed in different ways due to their rebellion against God. They chose to separate themselves from their loving, nurturing, passionate God. So we were cursed.
To the woman he said, “I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing;
with pain you will give birth to your children.
Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”
To Adam he said, “Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life. It will produce thorns and thistles for you.”
-Genesis 3:16-18
The curse on women could not simply be narrowed down to children or marriage. Otherwise any woman who doesn’t have children or doesn’t get married is off the hook. So what does it mean in modern terms, in today’s world?
Loneliness. Loneliness, relational heartache, and the urge to control (especially our men & children) is the curse we woman face.
It’s amazing how true this is. Isn’t all our heartache and loneliness attached to relationships? Are you comfortable leaving your well-being in someone else’s hands? My guess would be probably not.
We have this thing that we need to have everything under control at all times. We need to know the plan or the outcome before we take a step. The feeling of waiting on something or someone can be excruciating! The facts of the unknown are just too much for us to bear sometimes because we are not in control.
I believe we were all created for relationship. but especially women, so this curse hits us right at our relational core. The funny thing is that as relational as we are, oftentimes we are not inviting or vulnerable. We hide our true selves and control our worlds because that is the only sense of security we’ll find.
We fallen daughters of Eve control our relationships. We refuse to be vulnerable and if we cannot find security in our relationships with others, then we kill our hearts’ true longing for intimacy so that we’ll be safe and in control.
Can you relate? Yeah, me too.
But this is Eve’s curse. And it is a terrible thing that we have to endure. The good news? It can be overcome! The curse is only our natural tendency and just because something comes naturally to us, doesn’t mean we can’t learn another way.
Just like learning to stuff my feelings in an emotionally vacant home, I have had to re-learn how to share my feelings and be vulnerable. Because vulnerability is the only true way we can start having healthy relationships.
So why did God curse Eve with loneliness and heartache? It seems cruel and unkind, but in truth he did it to save her. He did it to save us from the seed of mistrust that was planted in our hearts the day she was tempted by the snake. A mistrust of God’s goodness.
“The serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the Lord God had made.
One day he asked the woman, ‘Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?’
‘Of course we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,’ the woman replied.
‘It’s only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden that we are not allowed to eat. God said, ‘You must not eat it or even touch it; if you do, you will die.’’
‘You won’t die!’ the serpent replied to the woman. ‘God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.
The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too.
At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves.”
-Genesis 3:1-6
Before this, Adam and Eve actually walked with God, in the garden. They trusted God with their whole selves and with everything. But Satan planted that seed of doubt. Is God really good, or is he holding out? And that’s when our need for control started.
And so God saved us by hindering us from our attempts to control our lives and our relationships until we come to him to rescue us from ourselves. He blocks our self-redemptive plans, our controlling and our hiding, and blocks all the ways we seek to fill the ache in our hearts.
“Therefore I will block her path with thornbushes;
I will wall her in so she cannot find her way.
She will chase after her lovers but not catch them;
she will look for them but not find them.”
-Hosea 2:6-7
Otherwise we would never fully turn to him for our rescue. We would never learn that true fulfillment is found only in him.
Your family can’t save you. Your marriage or your boyfriend can’t save you. Your job or your hobbies can’t save you, and most of all, you can’t save you from the mystery of the unknown. Only Jesus can.
It’s ok to run to him when you’re feeling dissatisfied, lonely, hurting. When we put our hope and find our fulfillment in him, we aren’t as afraid to step out into the unknown. We aren’t afraid to be vulnerable and to commit because we have Jesus, and he gives us confidence that all will be well even when it’s not.
What area of life have you found it the hardest to let go of control?
Maybe it’s time to let go and give it to God. He desires for you to let him care for you and fulfill the longings of your heart.
Your Sister,
