How to Find Joy in the Longing
Tarah Avery
You may have noticed, just by chance, how passionate I am about singleness.
I look back on my years of singleness and sometimes crave the time that I had to spend devoting my whole self entirely to my Father, Yahweh. Sometimes I yearn for the time I got to spend with friends whenever I wanted, at any moment; life was just so…free.
Now please do not get me wrong. Marriage doesn’t “tie me down” and I am a very happily married woman. But I think that most single people desire to be married or to be in a relationship so much that they miss out on the gift of the single life.
For some misconstrued reason we tend to think that we aren’t enough unless our Facebook status says, “In a relationship.”
So often we look to men or women to fulfill the longings of our hearts: the longing to not be lonely, the longing to have children, the longing to be a wife or husband…
Oh, the longing. Isn’t it so real, though? Sometimes it feels overwhelmingly painful.
I love how Phileena Heuertz (author of “The Pilgrimage of a Soul”) describes longing.
She describes it as a time of waiting with purpose. And waiting and keeping vigil is a time of listening.
Imagine a caterpillar. No matter how much it yearns to be a butterfly it must wait. The process of metamorphosis is anything but gentle – it’s hard work, but it’s purposeful work.
Waiting with a purpose. I like that.
Soon that chrysalis will crack and open itself to reveal a beautiful butterfly inside. The wait will have been worth it because she becomes more of who God made her to be in this season of waiting. She was once a caterpillar, but not anymore. She embraced the longing in reckless pursuit of becoming more of herself.
And friends, we can’t become more of who we are without God’s help. Only he knows our true identities, only he can help us embrace them.
I know waiting is hard, and it can bring stress and anxiety and all sorts of doubts and worries. But if you can’t find happiness in the longing – in the wait – then you won’t find happiness in marriage, or with children, or the dream job, etc. It might surface for a time, but it will be fleeting happiness.
As Jackie Kendall, author of “Lady in Waiting” writes:
“Happy indeed are those people, married or single, who have discovered that happiness is not found in marriage but in a right relationship with God.”
Happiness does not stem from people and things. I know it’s easy to want them to, but I’ve had to re-learn over and over that true happiness & joy stem from a life walking hand in hand with your Father, Yahweh. The God of heaven & earth.
No one, not even the person you will marry one day, can make you truly joy-filled happy . . . only Jesus can.
That is the secret. Happiness is found in Jesus and him alone.
What are you longing for? If you can allow yourself to embrace the happiness that is only found in Jesus during this season, girl, you can get through anything!
Your Friend & Encourager,
