How to Find the Girl of Your Dreams
Gordon Avery
Have you ever wondered, “How do I find that perfect girl?”
Though most of us haven’t grown up dreaming about our wedding, we still want that girl. You know, the lady that—in the words of Usher—makes you change your ways, like hanging with your crew. But how do you find her? You certainly don’t want to guess wrong and end up with some crazy lady.
Good news. I did some digging and I happened to unearth the secret.
If you’re a guy, think about your best friends. Who are they? Why are they your closest? How do you spend your time together? Most likely you consider them close because you do stuff together. You may not even talk that much, but that’s no big deal.
Here’s the fact: guys like to do things. It’s how we grow close to someone; it’s how we build our friendships. The point is not being together, it’s doing something together. And for every man, it looks different.
From playing Magic: The Gathering to hunting. Working on cars or playing music. From all-night Madden Football tournaments to monthly poker nights, each bro-mance has their “thing.” I’ll give you one of mine: I love going to coffee shops with my buddy and discussing deep topics. Another guy I know has a group that tackles the tallest mountains in the world.
And here is the secret. What we really desire is to not just do things, but to do them with someone.
So why is it that we expect a man to grow a deep, life-lasting relationship with a woman by not “doing stuff” together? It’s not how any of his other relationships work; why should it all of a sudden work with her? Well, it doesn’t.
Women are not the only ones to blame. So are we. We’ve both forgotten. Let’s be honest, our wives can give us what our friends do not: sex. And that is a very important thing. But there are 23 other hours in the day.
Want to find the girl of your dreams? It’s simple.
Search and search until you find the woman who loves to do “guy stuff” (however that looks) with you. For that is how you have grown every relationship since you were a kid. It’s not suddenly different with your wife-to-be. Don’t try and make her the exception. Make her the rule. Stop searching for a wife and start searching for your life-long adventure partner.
That’s how you find the real girl of your dreams.
Best,
WARNINGS
Guys: Beware the girl who pretends to be interested in your “guy activities.” She actually thinks that once you two are married you will change and not want to do that stuff anymore. I know; that’s just crazy talk.
Gals: Save yourself a lot of disappointment. Don’t pretend to love doing his guy stuff with him. He’s not going to change. First, be willing to be his fellow adventurer, then find the guy who you like doing his stuff with.
