How to Find “The One”
Gordon Avery
How do you recognize the right one? You know, the girl or guy who won’t drive you absolutely crazy later on? How do you find the person you would actually enjoy life with? A man or woman you could be proud of.
I have good news for you.
There is a way to discern quickly if a guy or gal is worth your time. Simply ask yourself this question. It will give you a framework in which to see things with the right perspective.
Ladies ask yourself this: 20 years from now, is this the man, you want to be married to?
Not whom you think he could be. Who he is RIGHT NOW.
Years down the road he will not be different. He will essentially be the same guy you married. The most common mistake women make is thinking, “I can change him.” But trust me, it doesn’t work that way.
What happens too often is that a girl dates out of fear. Chiefly, the fear of being alone.
She shudders at the thought of becoming an old maid. So in her mind, it is better to settle than risk it. Though he is not what she wants, she justifies the decision with the thought, “I’ll just turn him into the man I want.” Meaning, she doesn’t really want him. She just doesn’t want to be alone.
In the end, this will only leave you disappointed and the man confused.
Men don’t change much. And actually, it works in your favor.
Never will you have to wonder if he will change. With men, what you see is what you get. Meaning your future stands before you.
Who he is now is the type of husband he will be later.
Who he is now is the type of father your children will grow up with.
So, is this man—who he is right now—the one you want to be married to 20 years from now?
Answer honestly. Your future depends on it.
Ok Fellas, I didn’t forget about you! Ask yourself this: If you couldn’t touch her . . . would you want to be with her?
Imagine with me this scenario. If you couldn’t touch another person for the rest of your life, who would you want to spend it with? Who is that woman?
Now I know it’s kind of an unfair, unrealistic inquiry. But let me tell you, it brings out the truth; gifting you with a crystal clear picture of reality. For this will, more quickly than anything, let you know if she is the one you really want to be with.
“But what about physical chemistry?” you might be asking. “Isn’t that important?”
Sure it is. Especially to us guys.
But after having numerous discussions with men who not only have been married for decades but also have remarkable sex lives with their wives, I have learned a valuable truth.
Find the one you want to be with, even if you couldn’t touch her . . . And you will have found the woman you will want to touch . . .the rest of your life.
See what I did there?
And by the way. . .
This is what every woman secretly fears. Inside her heart she can’t help but wonder, “Would he still want me if it wasn’t for my body?”
Put that distress to rest, and I promise you friends. . . “physical chemistry” will be the least of your concerns.
Where you begin your journey has a significant impact on where you end. And so, ask yourself these questions, seriously, before diving headfirst into a commitment.
You won’t regret it in the end. You’ll find yourself in a relationship where you’ve truly found your best friend for life.
Best,
