How to Get Good Advice
Gordon Avery
Have you ever been the one that your friend calls after a horrendous break-up?
First off, if you ever do get the call, don’t be annoyed, be honored. We all have a thousand connections in our lives, but how many people do you go to when something really crappy happens? Not many. For some reason this person trusts you enough to share a little piece of their heart…and that is meaningful.
And meaningful it was. As we sat in Starbucks over hot coffee I listened as she poured out her pain, disappointments, and deep sadness. I know that during these moments it’s not typically wise to give lots of ‘advice’ so I stayed away from it; except for one thing. After spending some good time talking I said to my dear friend,
There is only one piece of advice I want to give you. Keep sharing with people about your pains and hurts over this break up, because it will help you heal. But you have to be careful who you listen to when it comes to relationship advice.
As soon as the words left my lips I saw it. The “I never thought of that before” look came across her face as she asked, “Really?” It caught me off guard.
EVERYONE has relationship advice to give you. We all think that we are so wise when it comes to relationships, and yet…how many people have incredibly long-lasting Marriages that are deep and joyful?
Before you take any advice from anyone, ask yourself this question: What are their relationships like? What is their record in the past? Does this person have at least a 10-year record of having an incredible Marriage?
I have had four great years of marriage – Tarah and I can tell you how to have a rocking’ marriage from the start – but how to get through 20 years of marriage? Or 30? Then we go to those we know who have had great marriages that have lasted that long. People like my Mom and Dad. They have over a 40-year record of success. Now those are the people I want to be seeking advice from.
I mean really think about it…Why would I want advice from someone who I’ve seen destroy every relationship they’re in? Would you take Medical advice from and 6th grader?
This means that I must also look at myself and honestly examine what areas I shouldn’t give advice to others about. It’s humbling, but it makes us wiser.
So you want great marriage advice? Go to those who have what you want & desire, they’ll tell you how to make it happen in your own life. That’s why Tarah and I are so passionate about relationships and that is why we do what we do. We want to see your relationships and marriages to start off the best they possibly can and become great.
The secret to getting actual good advice is this – go to those who have a successful track record.
What is one area of your life where you could give great advice based on the good fruits of your life? How about one area where you probably shouldn’t be giving advice?
Best,
