Our Top 5 Favorite Relationship Books

Tarah Avery

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Have you ever heard the quote “Leaders are readers?” 

This saying is so true! So many of our life mentors are avid readers – some even read up to 200 books per year!

The thing about reading is this: it reveals our desire for growth. If you have a heart to learn and grow through every season of your life you will begin to like, if not love, reading. Reading is the “weights” for the mind, so let’s do some mental weight lifting!

Please note: these books are not only for married people, you can read these in any season. While you’re single (which I highly recommend), in a relationship, or married.

I will first say that the most effective way for these to impact your relationship is to read them together. I know, I know! He doesn’t like reading, right? There is a simple reason for this.

Ladies, the question that every man faces and needs to be answered throughout his whole life, especially by you, dear Sister, is this, “Do I have what it takes?”

He is afraid of failing. And if you are bringing him a book to “better your relationship” he will most likely not want to read it because he is afraid that the message you are sending him is, “You’re failing me, so we need to read this book, so that you’ll realize everything you’re doing wrong, so you can change.”

So Gordon and I suggest having the “let’s read together” talk in a very careful way: “Honey (“Babe,” “Love,” “Insert Name Here”), you are amazing. It makes me feel so loved when you spend time with me. You do such a great job at that. I was thinking about reading this relationship book so that I can learn how to love you better. Would you like to read it with me?”

Give him a positive. Let him know that he is NOT failing you. And then suggest reading together so that it will benefit you BOTH. Married ladies, you can add in some benefits he might get if he takes this time for you (if you catch my drift).

Ok. now to what you’ve been waiting for!

Here are our top 5 most influential books that we’ve read to improve and better our relationship together:

1. For Women Only.

Do you want to know what is at the heart of every man? This is your book! This book is great whether your single or in a relationship and it is paramount in understanding our men and most men out there because this book is all about, well, men — Learn the way they think and how they act and how to better understand the mind of a man. I suggest you read it together, that way he can show you the things that he really wants you to understand about him.

(This is not an opportunity to point fingers, but to understand one another better).

2. For Men Only.

Now it’s your turn, ladies. This is by the same author as “For Women Only,” but this time it’s all about women. Now is your chance to highlight things that connect with who you are as a woman. Instead of keeping him guessing, show him the things that you want him to understand about you

(This is not an opportunity to point fingers, but to understand one another better).

3. Loveology.

I absolutely love this book. It goes into great detail about how God designed the relationship between a man and a woman to look like in the context of marriage and what our roles are as husband and wife and how we can work together for a greater purpose.

 

4. The 5 Love Languages.

We all receive and give love differently. This is a great way for you and your man to learn each other’s way of love. What does he do that makes you feel the most loved, and visa versa. This book is about learning how to love each other in the best way possible. And the great thing is that it can be applied to any and all relationships in your life.

5. Garden City.

This is a book about life. It’s about “work, rest, and the art of being human.” I suggest this one because it’s incredibly important for the two of you to be on the same page when it comes to your outlook on work & rest, and the way God designed us to incorporate those into our life with a positive outlook. This book is about getting your views & ideas about everyday things aligned together with the heart of God.

Important note: Remember to always be encouraging while reading. Never point fingers & blame, which will be the desired motive and action. Once you start doing this, he will flee from the idea of reading together. Remember: reading together is about getting to know each other better and discovering deeper intimacy than you’ve ever had before. 

Your “homework” this week is to pick out a book that you want to read.

If you’re in a relationship, read together. Hint to the Ladies: maybe, suggest “For Her Only,” and let him know that you want to learn more about him as a man. That it’s important for you to learn how to love him better. He will jump at that opportunity – I guarantee you!

What book would you recommend? Or which book will you read first?

All my Love,