The 3 Biggest Lies to Erase for Greater Self Love
Tarah Avery
As children growing up, our brains were taking in every bit of information they could. That information formed us – how we think and what we believe. It has formed our opinions and judgments about the world, about others, but mostly about ourselves.
If we want to love ourselves better, we must first confront the false mindsets we’ve developed about ourselves over the years and choose to develop a new mindset.
We need a little rewiring when it comes to our ideas about beauty and success. Because what our culture is telling us just isn’t cutting it.
So here they are, the 3 biggest lies that bring about the comparison to others, low self-esteem & self-love:
I am what I have.
This lie tells you to find your value, worth & success through what you have – this can be both people & things.
I am what I do or what I’ve done.
This lie tells you to find your value, worth & success through what you do or what you have done in your life.
I am who others say I am.
This lie tells you to find your value, worth & success through the words spoken over you by other people. Words you carry with you from your childhood and into adulthood can be the most difficult to erase.
Here are some self-reflection questions to help you discover areas where you might need some re-wiring:
Q1.Out of those 3 lies above, which one do you believe has most impacted the way you see yourself?
Q2. Think about the lie, “I am what I do/done.” Write down everything you can think of that might have caused you to believe this lie.
Ex: The fact that maybe you did or did not graduate college, own a business or are unemployed, make a lot of money or are barely scraping by, etc.
It’s time for these lies to be erased so that we can rewire our minds to believe the truth about who we are. As Paul says, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ” (Colossians 3:23-24). Our identity is not found in what we do, but in who we do things for [Jesus].
Q3.Think about the lie, “I am what I have.” Write down everything you can think of that might have caused you to believe this lie.
Ex: The fact that maybe you’re married or unmarried, have kids or aren’t able to have kids, have a nice house or live in low-income housing, own a nice car, etc.
It’s time for these lies to be erased so that we can rewire our minds to believe the truth about who we are. As the Psalm says, “You, Lord, are all I have, and you give me all I need; my future is in your hands. How wonderful are your gifts to me; how good they are!”(Psalm 16:5-6). Our identity is not found in what we have, but in what he [Jesus] gave when he died on the cross for us.
Q4.Think about the lie, “I am who others say I am.” Write down everything you can think of that might have caused you to believe this lie.
Ex: Maybe people have said you’re ugly or fat, not enough or unloved. Or maybe you’ve felt like a burden or a mistake, etc.
It’s time for these lies to be erased so that we can rewire our minds to believe the truth about who we are. And Jesus says, “You are altogether beautiful my darling, beautiful in every way” (Song of Songs 4:7). Our identity is not found in what others say about us, but in who he [Jesus] says we are.
Q5.What are the mindset shifts that you need to make in order to accept who God says you are?
We need to learn to recognize our identities beyond these lies. And we cannot fully accept ourselves or love ourselves until we understand who Jesus says we are.
Because our true identity – the true self we’ve been searching for – is found only in him.
What has been your biggest struggle when it comes to discovering your identity and accepting yourself as God made you?
All my Love,
