Women’s Marriage Mistake: Our Most Common Misconception
Tarah Avery
What do we ladies overlook the most when it comes to our idea of marriage?
In the kitchen, with a glass of wine in my hand, we listened to one of the coolest married couples we have recently come across. Being married for 20 years has not lessened their romance, but increased it. The best way to guarantee success is to follow in the steps of those who found what you want, so we listened intently. The night was filled with laughter as they shared their love story.
In the midst, they shared a mind-blowing discovery about the most common mistake that men and women make when going into a marriage. As I listened, I discerned the truth instantly. This week, let’s take a look at a woman’s most common oversight about marriage.
WOMEN’S MISTAKE
One of the most common blunders for women is the belief that once we get married he’ll change. Guess what? That will never happen.
Once we have kids he won’t want to have that sports car anymore. He’ll want to get a minivan. No, he won’t. Well, once we are married he won’t want to watch football every Sunday. Wrong. He’s always going to want to watch the game. He loves it.
Now men do grow and mature. There are certain things that do change as they age. But the things that they love, the passions in a man’s heart, the adventures they like to embark on—essentially, who they are . . . it’s going to stay the same. He loves climbing tall mountains at 19; he’ll still want to tackle them at age 40.
I can sense the frustration bubbling already. This may seem like a fault, some horrible disease that all men carry, a problem that must be fixed. But trust me, it is not. In fact, it is one of the most beautiful things about our men.
Think about it. You can trust that the man you marry is going to be the man you are married to 40 years later. Think of the security in that. You don’t have to wonder, “What will he be like in ten years?” This is good news if you marry the man you want for the rest of your life.
But if you go into marriage thinking, “He’s going to be so awesome once I change him,” you will be incredibly disappointed. You cannot settle for something less than you want and then expect him to become that thing. This points to the fact that many girls get married, not because they love their groom, but because they are afraid of being alone (eek that stings!). And if you do change him you will discover, to your grave disappointment, that you created a soulless man. One you don’t like very much.
So what should we do?
It’s simple. Wait.
Wait for the guy who is already the man of your dreams. With most men, what you see is what you get. Once you realize this, choosing the right guy is simple.
You’ve got this ladies!
All my love,
